I wrote my last blog at 26 weeks, and suddenly, I’m just about 35 weeks prego. Where, oh where, has the time gone?! I cannot believe I’m going to be a mom in just over a month! These past few weeks have been incredibly busy and a bit stressful. I’m taking one class this semester, I’ve been working 2-3 days a week (though I had to cut back to 2 over the past few weeks due to my pelvic pain), I started my childbirth classes, I’m in the doctor’s office almost every week, whether it be my OB or my endocrinologist, and my husband and I moved about 2 weeks ago and are still trying to get settled and set up some type of nursery! On top of all that, I’m really trying to stay in shape, but with this move, it’s been extremely difficult to get in the gym or pool. The weeks have been flying by, and I’m so ready to be done with this pregnancy, but at the same time not ready at all!
The past few weeks have been extremely difficult for me to get my workouts in. I’m tired, I’m busy, and my pelvis hurts. Some weeks are really good where I’ll get 4-5 good workouts in, but this has not been the case over the past month. With the packing/moving/unpacking, all the squatting and standing has left me utterly exhausted, and I’ve only been able to get in 3, maybe 4 workouts a week. It’s been more tough on my mental state than anything. I am really hard on myself when I miss a workout. I get extremely cranky and feel like I am a complete failure and a terrible excuse for an athlete. It’s not just about me either. I’m really striving for a smooth, natural, unmedicated labor, and I feel like I’m letting my baby down by not conditioning my body enough for the big day. I know this is ridiculous, because I know I’m probably more fit than the majority of pregnant women, but I put a lot of pressure on myself. I’m slowly learning to take it in stride though, mainly because my pelvic pain is getting worse as my due date approaches, and when I take a day or two off, I convince myself that it’s better to rest. This has been my life over the last 2 months, so I wanted to fill you in on my most common thoughts so far during this last trimester. It’s been so much fun reading some other runner’s blogs during their pregnancies and to know that I’m not alone, so I thought I’d share some things that some other running mamas can relate to. So, in no particular order, these have been my most common thoughts: 1. “Ow, my pelvis!” – I don’t have to bore you with all the details (again), you can read about it here. Unfortunately, this is my most common thought/complaint. Hanging up my running shoes hasn’t been enough to stop the pain, it gets bad just from walking or standing on my feet for more than a couple hours. It sucks, it’s annoying, and I pray that it goes away when I start training again. At 35 weeks, I’ve finally decided to seek treatment from a chiro who specializes in SPD in pregnancy, and I even purchased an SI/pelvic support belt to wear for the next 5 weeks (yay!). Here’s a link to the belt that I purchased (I’ll let you know if it works in a couple weeks!) 2. “I miss my running body.” – Maybe I’m just being vain, but I really do miss my running body. I didn’t really realize or fully appreciate how fit I was until now. Before I got pregnant, I would look in the mirror sometimes and truly think that I was fat (no joke) and would have a little temper tantrum by throwing myself onto the bed and just pout for a few minutes until my husband came in to console me. <– This is actually more of a common occurrence when I’m injured and unable to run. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve really begun to embrace my pregnant body and even feel proud of it, but I’m definitely looking forward to feeling fit again! 3. “I can’t breathe.” – I’ve gotten to the point where the babe is just taking up all the room in my little frame. She is pushing on my lungs, and I just can’t breathe. I’ve always been proud of my runner’s lungs, but now I struggle to breathe like a 400 lb man. Sitting in a car is when it’s at its worst, when everything is just pushed up and cramped, and I start to panic when it gets tough to breathe. It definitely subsides when I lie on my side. 4. “Did I just say that?” – Pregnancy brain is legit, my friends. I have no control over what comes out of my mouth. It’s a lot of gibberish usually followed by a blank stare or look of confusion while I’m thinking. I can’t think of simple words such as “that” in a conversation. It’s embarrassing. 5. “I’m supposed to pee in that little cup?” – Ok, so this only happens every 2 weeks (every week starting next week!), but it is significant enough to make my list. Whenever I see the OB, they do a urine test to check for protein in the urine and glucose levels. A couple of weeks ago marked the last time I was able to make it in the cup successfully. Now, I dread it like the plague, because the last two times, I have peed all over myself, my clothes, and the floor. I can’t see what’s going on down there!! 6. “I just want to run.” – This thought enters my mind daily. I long to feel those endorphins and the pain of that last mile during a 16 mile run. I crave it. I need it. I miss that sound of silence when I can just hear my own footsteps and breath. I want to be in that zone where I get in a groove and knock off each interval, one by one, each getting faster and faster. I can’t wait to run again…sigh. 7. “Give me chocolate (or anything with sugar).” – So, I haven’t really had any significant cravings or food aversions during this entire pregnancy, but I definitely started needing sweets more when I hit my 3rd trimester. We’re talking “need” as in, “I need chocolate now, so don’t stand in my way.” I have no self-control either, so if I ever buy a bag of Snickers or Kisses, I just inhale like 10 in a row. It’s gotten to the point where Tad has to hide whatever sweets I bring into the house so he can ration them out. 8. “I still can’t believe there’s a baby in there.” – Some days, I feel ready to be a mom, but others, I just can’t even imagine how much my life is going to change. Am I going to be a good mom? Do I have a motherly instinct? Am I going to bond with the baby right away? Will I love her as much as I love my cat? <– I know that sounds weird, but seriously, if you know me at all, you know that Chai is my pride and joy… Are my friendships going to change? Will my running goals change, or will I even be the same runner postpartum? How am I going to manage being a mom while working, training, and going to school? Having a huge belly is an unbelievable conversation starter, and it’s been really fun talking to total strangers and hearing how much joy their children bring to their lives. I’m so excited for this time in my life, and it’s something I’ve always dreamed about, but at the same time, I still feel like a kid myself, and there is so much I want to accomplish. I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful and supportive husband, that I cannot wait to go on this journey into parenthood with. He is my rock, my best friend, and I feel like we make a great team, so I feel pretty confident that I can be a great mom AND a great runner. 🙂 9. “Natural childbirth? Bring it on!” – I’m sure some mom’s are laughing at this thought and my naiveté, but I feel really optimistic and excited about my labor. I’m studying the Bradley Method, which is completely natural, drug-free, husband-coached childbirth, and I’m really looking forward to the experience! I don’t know if it’s the athlete in me or what, but I am ready and fully embracing the challenge of going completely natural with no interventions, and I really have no fear. Obviously, I understand that complications can arise, but I’m trusting in the Lord and have 100% faith in my husband and doctor to help me have a smooth labor. 10. “My belly is huge.” – Sorry to state the obvious here, but I must say this about 10 times a day. I seriously cannot believe how big my belly is. I’ve just now gotten to the point where things are starting to get really uncomfortable. Rolling over in bed has become quite the task, and I had to tell my manager that this is my last week at work, because it is a definite struggle getting up off the floor when I’m fitting people into shoes. I find that I am now starting to underestimate my girth and have a really hard time squeezing in and out of spaces that in my mind, my body is completely capable of. I totally try to suck it in as I try to fit through a tiny space that I have absolutely no business trying to squeeze through. Everyone comments, “you’re so tiny!” and I just respond with, “I’m huge.” So that’s that. I’ve got 5 weeks to go, and I am beyond excited. Our new house is really starting to come together, and I really want to make the most of this time with my husband, family and friends. I’ve got so much to do these next couple of weeks and probably won’t get a chance to blog again before the baby arrives, so until then, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers that I have a smooth and safe delivery. I’m looking forward to sharing my birth story and my comeback with you in the upcoming months! Thank you all for reading!! 🙂